Hungry surfer chasing a gull.
I need a new brain. I wish I had a brain like Junk's, he's smart. That's why he works for the Corpse. Everyone around here who's got at good brain works for the Silicon Corps. I wish I could afford a good brain, but I can't even afford gas for my truck. At least I've got my stick and decent waves, but what I really need is a new brain.I convinced Junk to go for a surf before work this morning. On the way over I told him about the envi-chemo dude. He just laughed.
"Whaddaya laughin at?" I asked.I felt so stupid. I'd forgotten. I was high on green when I did that, maybe I didn't want to forget my name or maybe I just thought it was artistic, I don't know. Right then though is when I decided what I need is a new brain. Anyway, he went on, saying it sounded pretty odd to him that an envi-chemo would offer me resin and glass. After all, they're supposed to be interested in saving (or at least studying?) the environment, and resin sure isn't that great for the environment. Not too good for the brain either I thought. Got a vicious headache last time I shaped.I didn't see what was so funny, then he told me, "Dude, you got 'SURFRAT' tattoo'd across your forehead. Don't you remember?"
That was at JoJo's place. It was cold out and I needed a warm place to let the resin cure. She was pretty pissed about the whole deal. She doesn't really approve of my surfer lifestyle and would rather we got married, had a kid, me working for the Corpse, the whole family thing like straight out of the 90's. Of course what she really didn't approve of was me stinking up her place with resin, I guess I should have asked first. But what was I to do with a broken stick and going hungry with no gulls and all my gas fundage going for resin and glass?Anyway, Junk sure is smart. He had it all figured out with the resin and the 'too (well, I guess I would have figured out the 'too part if I'd looked in a mirror). When we got to my break there were a couple gulls caught up in the trash I'd spread yesterday. Another good reason to pour out the motor oil, then you don't have to hang around waiting to catch the gulls. Gear oil works better I hear, but I haven't had to change my gear oil yet and hopefully won't for a while. Maybe I could steal some. I killed the gulls and stashed them in a secret spot I know, the sun hits it pretty good later in the day so they'll be half cooked by the time I'm ready to eat them. Junk doesn't eat gull, he's got a job and eats well. He still likes to kill them though, mostly for my benefit I guess.Sure enough the winds were calm. Never fails with the motor oil. Junk says it's always calm in the morning but that's not true. I surf a lot more than he does and I've been out on plenty of windy mornings. Never after sacrificing used motor oil though. The swell had come down a bit but that was ok. The water was absolute glass perfection and the tide was going out so we enjoyed some filth (though small) barrels. We both got two gulls and I almost scored a pelican aerial.
That's my favorite move, the pelican aerial, but the timing has to be just right. Most surfers just swat them with their hands if they miss on the aerial and then bag and spear them in the water, sort of make it look like they did it in the air, but I don't think anyone's ever fooled by that. I never do that. You got to have some principle, at least with pelicans. I mean, anything goes with gulls, but pelicans are special. You pull a proper pelican aerial and you'll have good luck for seven days. Real good luck, not just bogus good luck like not getting a parking ticket or finding a car without a tank lock. Last time I scored a pelican aerial I found a new stick, just like that. Well, not exactly found but effectively the same thing. The dweeb had good as lost it, he had to be a posin' Chapeller to leave his stick for anyone to pick up, probably never scored a gull in his life.Anyway, I was a little bummed to have missed the aerial, but not too bummed since Junk gave me his two gulls before taking off for work.Like I said, Junk works for the Corpse. Something to do with interfaces, he develops and tests new interfaces for the net. I guess he gets to plug into the net quite a bit. Must be fun, at least he makes it sound that way. I can't believe it's more fun than surfing but maybe for him it is. I can't figure what he gets out of it, other than a lot of fundage. I asked him what's in the net once.
He just said "Data, all the data you could want and more."The best I can figure is data is like fundage, if you got it you can buy whatever you like. Get all the drugs you like, all the best eats, cool tattoos, new sticks, anything. Anyway, his interfaces are supposed to be faster, better, all that stuff so you can find all the data you need quicker than anyone else. (If there's so much of it why is it hard to find? I'll have to remember to ask him that).I'm not sure if I would call Junk a surfer. He surfs, but he works too. He scores gulls but he doesn't eat them. He has a 'too but he doesn't use drugs. Well, he doesn't really need drugs I guess. I mean, he's naturally amped. Me, for example, I have kind of a mellow disposition. So I need to bake or patch speedballs to get amped. I would prefer good green but that leaves me listless, and makes me really hungry which isn't so great most of the time. I mean, it makes gull taste like caviar (whatever that is) but you never satisfy your appetite. I'll just keep eating until I throw up and waste all that food. Plus, I never score any gull high on green though I'll feel like I'm shredding up a storm. I guess green is a rich guy's drug. Probably the Chapeller's all have bags full of the stuff, that and lots of eats, and probably nets full of data too, who knows?
Like I said, Junk is naturally amped. When we were out in the line up I asked him again about the envi-chemo. He wasn't really sure what to make of him.
"You know what you should do, 'rat? Next time you see him you should cut off his head and stick a pencil through his heart. That's what you should do."That's what he says of anyone he's not really sure what to make of."Hey Junk dude, what the hell's a pencil, man?" I asked him once.Best I can figure it's something like a laser pen but works on anything, even hearts I guess. They must've used them a lot back in the 90's. Anyway, Junk was going on about the envi-chemo.He just laughed and said "Should'a stayed in school, 'rat."
"Fuckin' envi-chemo bastard pokin around your break with nothing more to do than hassle surfers for doin what they have to."Well, he was right about that. Though as usual he seemed to take the whole thing pretty personal. I didn't want to meet up with the envi-chemo dude today after figuring out how badly I blew it yesterday (and me thinking I was so clever with him, I really need a new fucking brain).So after our session I stashed two of the gulls and took two up to JoJo's. She's not that crazed about gull (who is?) but I don't like showing up empty-handed -- she's my number one chick you know. She was at work, of course, but I just hung out and waited for her, and tried to think what to do about the envi-chemo but didn't come up with anything good. Maybe I can steal a pencil somewhere.
Writing and all photographs by Leonardo Dagum,
dagum@sgi.com.
Copyright (C) November 5th, 1993. All rights reserved.