The one that got away.
Today was a great day. It was such an awesome day I don't even know where to begin. It didn't start out so awesome, just sort of standard, like another day in the shitlife of a surfer, but it just improved from there.I spent the night at JoJo's, which is always great plus she'll usually leave me a cup of coffee before taking off for work. Luxury! Today though I got up with her because I had stuff on my mind and wanted to talk to her about it.
JoJo is blonde and green-eyed with the bod and figure of your archetypal (huh?) California babe like out of the 90's, but with an attitude like today. She's pretty down to earth and really smart, like Junk but not jaded with life like he is.Anyway, I told her I wanted a new brain. This is the sort of thing I couldn't tell Junk because he would just laugh and say something sarcastic like,"Yeah dude, why don't you save all your gull heads and get a massively parallel one! Hahahaha!"JoJo is a lot less predictable and you have to broach a subject like that at the right time. Kind of like taking off on a big wave, you do it at the wrong time or the wave just isn't in the right mood and you'll get dumped on. With JoJo, morning's are the best take-off point. It gives her the whole day to forget it if it's something stupid or pisses her off, and it gives her the whole day to think about it if it's something good. Well, in truth it's really like shoulder hopping a big wave because in the morning she won't give you 100% of her attention so you can't get 100% dumped on, and that's why I bring up subjects like this only in the morning.So this morning I'm driving her to the train station (she doesn't have a car) and I tell her,
"You know Jo, I think I need a new brain. Junk had that envi-chemo figured out flash, you would've too I'm sure (a little flattery always helps, puts you out further on the shoulder), but me, I'm lost half the time. I want to get a brain fix."So there, I'd layed it all on the line, this was the drop. The deal of course is that brain fixes cost big, way bigger than I can afford and probably more than all JoJo has saved and could borrow, so in a way I was like asking her to give me all her fundage so I could get a brain fix. Not that I was really thinking of it that way, you know, but it sure could come across that way since there wasn't any real obvious way that I could fund my own brain fix.She turned to look at me, stare really, like I was some sort of pathetic creature, but maybe I'm exaggerating. I can't really be sure what was in her look but the words were quite clear.
"Quit using so many fucking drugs and you won't need a new brain. Speeding your ass off all the time you're not thinking past a nano with your brain racing like 90."I was thinking now, boy. I was thinking oh no, here it comes, I thought I was on the shoulder but it threw out and I'm over the falls. But she cooled off fast, she just said one more thing:"Bet that envi-chemo is smart and loaded."Then we were at the station and she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Just got out of the truck and didn't look back. I sometimes wonder if she really appreciates it when I drive her to the train station.I didn't really know what to make of her last comment. I took it as a barb and felt a little jealous, but decided to ignore it. From the station I went over to Johnny D's place, it being another gorgeous day, and figuring the swell must've dropped some more and with all that gull stashed away I felt like buds would be just the thing. By the time I got there I'd completely forgotten what JoJo had said.
Johnny uses only green (and tobacco too of course, but that's not really a drug in the same way.) He's got long stringy blond hair, a face scarred from small pox, and always a baseball cap. Johnny doesn't really deal for a living or anything, but he'll do me favors and gave me a bag for the last of my coke. Mostly he scratches out a living off old biomicro parts. Basically stuff the Corpse considers garbage even though there's a whole black market built around it, memory chips, neuro jacks, drivers of every kind. Sometimes he'll get quality items too, stuff the Corpse does care about and doesn't like to lose. Johnny knows a lot of people and somehow can find a buyer for anything. He's plugged in to that whole scene and has unloaded a lot of stuff for me in the past. I'm sure he takes a cut too but it's a symbiotic relationship and I consider him a friend even though Johnny doesn't surf.He was already stoned when I got there. He loves to talk and when he's high it's nonstop. That's ok with me if I'm stoned too because then I like just to listen, but I wasn't stoned yet and what I really wanted to do was get down to the beach and get stoned, so I didn't listen too much.He was going on and on about the latest box he'd scored, a cherry GX-2000 something with OS still loaded and if one of his crackers would work he figured to get passes into the Chapeller nets because the thing had been a Chapeller's and not just a peon but pretty high up ... on and on.I told him I was looking for a brain fix and I didn't mean hallucinogens. He said he knew a dude who'd do install for me cheap, just because I was a friend, but I'd have to get the brain. Then there was another dude, good friend as well, who could get all sorts of brains cheap because he worked for the Corpse in industrial waste and they're always throwing away good brains you know, sure a little fried on the edges from using them to get into places they shouldn't or from alpha testing the latest bioware but basically cherry. Well, that didn't sound so great to me really but I thanked him anyway and left for the beach with my bag in hand.He made it sound like the score of a lifetime but he always does that so I wasn't really paying any attention.
Sure enough, the swell had dropped some more, it was maybe 3-4 foot in the face, but glassy, sunny, warm and all those things that make Indian summer surfing so great. In my opinion that is the best surfing, especially for scoring gull.
I guess I should say something about how surfers score gulls because if you don't surf or never seen it done it might not be really obvious. Basically the trick is to bait them with something. Gulls love to flock and will go for anything, even cigarette butts though they quickly figure out you can't eat those. Anyway, anything edible will attract a flock out to the line up.So today was a perfect gull day and any real surfer would be getting amped and paddling out with a whack of gull entrails or whatever he could find to make a perfect gull session out of it. But I didn't feel like a real surfer today, at least not a real "today" surfer. I was mellow on green and I wanted the long rides and didn't want my high to get ruined by a shot of guano to the face, or the nauseating scream of a gull losing it, or having to worry about sharks the whole time because I'd forgot to charge my shark repeller. I just wanted an old fashioned session, out on a perfect day, nobody out, perfectly shaped jewels rolling in and a perfect buzz going.Once there they tend to hang for a while, screaming and shitting and generally being a nuisance to anyone who's not interested in snagging some. But if you're out for gull, and all real surfers are, then that's the best, when a flock has gathered and it's glassy out so the flock stays in place. Usually they'll hang a bit behind the break zone so you got to continue baiting them if you want to lull them out for a score.
I mean gulls are dumb but not dumb enough to get rinsed for some smelly garbage.I like to soak the bait with tobasco or chili pepper because then the gull will get all frustrated wanting to eat this really spicy bait and not being able to keep it in its mouth, so it'll keep dropping it and its bro's will come around trying to steal the bait and also not being able to swallow it they'll keep dropping it and they'll all totally forget about the coming wave with me on it laughing maniacally as I drive my 6-inch nose spike through one of their miserable hearts and continue down the line.Well, that last part doesn't always work out, because a lot of times they'll take off at the last minute and usually if I do score I'll pearl for obvious reasons.Anyway, that's sort of the classic gull move, a lot of surfers get creative and skeg them landing a floater or slash them with an off the lip top turn or whatever. There's all sorts of cool gull moves but I think whatever works counts if you're hungry, unless of course you do it with something other than your stick.I think that's how surfing used to be, before the Chapellers came around complaining about the fragile ecology and branding us as child molestors and sexual deviants. What a joke! These were the guys that had made a religion out of sexual deviancy and they called us twisted? I don't think freedom can twist, but power and fundage sure can. They outlawed resin and made surfboard manufacture or possession an environmental crime.I was thinking of how it would of been in the old days, riding a really long, wide board, running up to the nose to daintily hang a foot over the edge, kind of check the water temperature or something, and then quickly running back to adjust the trim or make a turn, always with these quick little steps like out of a cartoon. I pictured it like waltzing on the waves and laughed just thinking about it. I even tried it a few times on my stick but without any success.I'd been out a couple hours already when the magic set-up took place. I'd spotted a set about 100 yards out and started paddling for position. When the first wave was maybe 10 yards from me I started scratching for it. Then I noticed a flock of pelicans flying low and in perfect formation straight up the line and I got that funny feeling in your stomach like when you know, just know something good is going to happen.
There's nothing quite like the sight of a low flying pelican formation seen from the water. I've heard some places in the world don't have pelicans but I wouldn't know for sure. I think it would be sad not to see pelicans over the water, but maybe they got other kinds of wonderful creatures to kill, who knows.Anyway, this was the perfect set up, the wave came at just the right time, a choice 5 footer which was going to give me just enough speed to pull an aerial kick out wherever I wanted down the line. I took off front side and at an angle, crouched low and stealthy and working the wave for all its juice because it was going to be close. I got to the bottom and the lead bird was still 5 yards away. The timing here was crucial, but I was on total adrenaline at this point and I swear that time had frozen for me. I punched a bottom turn, shot straight vertical up the face and with a wing and a prayer launched my stick off the lip and to the moon. I didn't see the rest but I can picture it quite vividly.I imagine the lead bird either saw me or simply gained altitude because of the breaking wave, in any case it was probably 6 feet above the water when my glass and foam missile shot through the base of its shoulder, piercing its wing and bringing it down to the water in a flurry of feathers. I reeled it in and wrung its neck to put it out of its misery. The feeling of euphoria at that moment in my life is indescribable.I paddled back in, smoked a big one, and just lay out with my stick and the bird, listening to the surf and endlessly reliving the moment.Nobody is going to believe it of course, but I don't care. I'll still get my seven days of good luck and that's what counts. I'm in my truck now, parked at my secret spot off Old Stage Coach. I'd have liked to go to JoJo's but I doubt she would appreciate seeing me just yet after this morning's fiasco. But my luck should kick in soon, already I found a new Nikon digicam that this dumb Japanese tourist had left hanging off his shoulder. Welcome to California brah!
Writing and all photographs by Leonardo Dagum,
dagum@sgi.com.
Copyright (C) November 5th, 1993. All rights reserved.